you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
