I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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