weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
