Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
