i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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