I need help removing her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
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vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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