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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

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• (585): View more from New York

  Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm that good.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (212): View more from New York

  where am i from again

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway

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• (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

  (226): View more from Ontario

  In case that's what u were picturing

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.

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