we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
