Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
