I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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