Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
