yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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