conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Green mimosas i think yes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
A+ Viking dick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
