dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
