It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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