Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
