is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
