It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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