Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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