Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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