I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
