Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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