its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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