its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
