we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
