youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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