Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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