You're so nebulous sometimes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
