I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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