Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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