Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
