I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
