Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
