took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
