If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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