why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
vagina is talking i cant
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
