why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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