I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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