So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
