I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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