how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
