I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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