You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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