I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
