I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
