Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
