Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
