i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
