Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
