better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
