I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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