Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
