Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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