i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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