In the future we'll all be gay
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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