Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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