Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
