he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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