She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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