god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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