if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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