that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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