is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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